You'll Miss This When You're With Your Knocked Up Mistress

So my best friend asked me to write a blog about 'what would you do if your husband cheated'? To which I replied, "OMG that was on Dr. Phil today!!" The story was, "What would you do if your husband cheated on you and got the other woman pregnant?"
     Many women in the audience said they'd kick him out and not introduce the child to her children. A few randoms said it wasn't the child's fault, so they'd kick him out, but allow the child in their children's lives.
     Me? Well I'm taken aback because I am not sure what would need to be done. Obviously the child would eventually find out about the "other baby", so keeping it a secret might not be good. And what if he didn't want to be with that other woman? I mean, there are so many questions to ask before actually knowing what you would do. Let's just set up three scenarios:
     1. He cheated, he loves this woman and wants to be with her, they will have the child together.
     2. He cheated, it was an "accident", she got pregnant, but he wants to stay with you, and he  
         wants to be a part of his child's life.
     3. He cheated, hates the woman, and wants nothing to do with kid because she got pregnant on
         purpose.
That's about even right? Ok, let's start with One. First of all, it's a simple DIVORCE right there. So I'd divorce him, get his shit out and together we'd find something to tell our child, it would have to be age appropriate. I think it's fair to say I would be the main caregiver, and the pregnant woman would have no contact with my child until I was positive they were a "sure thing".  Then they would need to give our child time to adjust and prepare before they got married and what not, THEN introduce the child into his/her life. Then we would begin to work out a custody agreement.
     Number two! I'd assume an "accident" would be getting too drunk at the office party, or going on a business trip...something to that effect. Our marriage would have to be DAMN strong to forgive cheating AND pregnancy. If it wasn't, then it would be divorce and, "Have fun paying two child support payments a-hole!" Otherwise, being the bigger person to forgive, I guess you'd have to learn to live with it. I don't think it's really necessary to meet the other woman. As far as telling your child, well, again it would need to be an age appropriate conversation.
     Number three! This one reminds me of a movie lol. Ok well, just like number two it would depend how strong the marriage was. With the woman getting pregnant on purpose, I guess it would figure on how she thought she was going to get pregnant. She would have had to believe she had a chance. In that case it is evident that he didn't "hate" her at one point and somewhat initiated it. The fact that he wants no part in the child's life says something about him. Interesting on how you would take that though. Some might be happy, some might think that's shitty. I can't even truly comment on this one because it's not a possibility in MY life. So I'm not really sure how I'd handle this one.

Anyway, the main thing here is that you kind of have to take yourself out of the situation when in fact you already have kids. If you do not, well then it's all up to you to be as selfish as you want. You really have no one else to consider at the time because obviously no one considered your feelings when they were busy humping. Soooo, that being said....you could move on with either situation and never look back.
     However, when you do have kids, then it's all about them. Men need to realize, when you cheat on your wife, you cheat on your kids as well. How ever are you going to explain to a five year old, a three year old, a seven year old...."Daddy made a baby with a woman who isn't Mommy"? As kids grow up (before the sex talk) you tell them that babies are made because Mommy and Daddy love each other very much. They don't understand why Daddy would love another woman, or why their sibling has another Mommy. Those types of things are hard for a child to process. The only thing they understand is a Mommy, Daddy, and babies.
     Now when the children are older, Daddy is basically going to look like a giant A-HOLE. Because by that time they've had the sex talk and have been told that you are faithful and loyal and what not. Especially as you're getting to the teen years, as a Mother there really isn't anything you have to do. He gets to explain the lovely details on what a selfish jerk he is. You're basically there to comfort the kids and help them deal with the situation. It's up to them, at that age, what role that baby will take in their lives. In movies, I've almost always seen the kids hate that child. Which, yeah, it's sad, but things could very well change as they get older. In the situation where the husband wants to be with the other woman, well that's a whole 'nother can of worms. In most cases the children hate the father, the mistress and the new baby.
     But guess what? It's ALL the cheater's fault. They have to live with what they've done and the pain they have caused. I'm curious as to a man's point of view on this subject. What would he do if his wife cheated and got pregnant?! Now that's maybe worse, in terms of the fact that if he stayed he would have to deal with his wife's growing belly for nine months and then the birth of a child that is not his. There are many different sides to THIS story though. Because (not saying I would do this, or condone it), the wife could lie and say it's the husband's baby. She could tell the husband and they could raise it on their own. I mean, really, it's quite different from the woman's story where she really doesn't have to face it daily because that belly isn't staring her in the face and there isn't much lying a man can do. A paternity test rules out lying.
     So yeah, I'm much more interested in seeing how a man would handle this. Including the three senarios to deal with.

What do you think?